Striving for Air
by ncfan
Summary: Rangiku never knew Lisa very well. But she does know Nanao.


**Characters**: Nanao, Rangiku, Lisa (in spirit)**  
Summary**: Rangiku never knew Lisa very well. But she does know Nanao.**  
Pairings**: None**  
Warnings/Spoilers**: Spoilers for Turn Back the Pendulum arc**  
Timeline**: Pre-manga**  
Author's Note**: Don't ask me why, but I have this great big idea of Rangiku and Nanao being good friends. I think they'd bounce off of each other very well.**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

Rangiku never knew Yadomaru Lisa very well. She had only been out of the Academy for a few years when the woman disappeared with the other captains and lieutenants, but of course she knew _of_ her. Everyone knew about Lisa.

Lisa was the only female Shinigami who could get away with wearing her hakama _that_ short, mainly Kyouraku-taicho was so charmed by the sight of her long white calves.

She was known to like her sake, though not nearly as much as Kyouraku-taicho or as Rangiku herself, and she was known for being able to hold her liquor very well.

Finally, she was known for enjoying a good night out, despite being reserved and rather mysterious, and lived life like she was dying, always. The future held little appeal for Lisa; it was always the present she was more concerned with.

Rangiku never laid eyes on Lisa, but she felt like she knew her. Everyone who had ever heard of Lisa felt like they knew her, reticent, cagey, secretive, at times abrasive but capable of being very kind, reckless, daring, living and dying Lisa.

But still, Rangiku never really knew Lisa until the day she met Ise Nanao.

Nanao.

Slightly mousy little girl—pretty though, Rangiku admitted, in her own way—with sleek blue-black hair done back in a knot at the back of her head, round wire-rimmed glasses and huge, solemn blue violet eyes. Her stance was somehow defensive, as she walked with her back straight and her shoulders and chin up, clutching a book to her chest as if it would fend off all the attackers life could throw at her.

There was a strange light in her eyes, despite her being so quiet and buttoned-up and reserved.

It was defiance. Rangiku had to tilt her head and squint a little to see it, but it was definitely defiance.

What Nanao was so defiant about, Rangiku didn't know. She didn't know why the girl's face was always so white and strained and a little sad, but mostly strained.

The day they met, Rangiku managed to mortally offend and befriend the girl in the space of about twelve hours, and she's still not entirely sure how she did it, but gathered two things about Nanao immediately from the first and second experiences of her.

One, was that Nanao seemed to have something to prove.

Two, was that Nanao was a very lonely girl.

At first, Nanao made a note of making it very clear that she didn't particularly enjoy Rangiku's presence, but Rangiku wasn't good at taking a hint nor was she incapable of spotting a liar when she saw one, so she kept at it, and continued to walk with her, watch her, observe her, trying to learn what she could.

Over time, Nanao, somewhat begrudgingly, became more overtly fond and accepting of Rangiku's company, and seemed to accept that she was gaining friends now. Gin, Rangiku suspected, was nice to Nanao specifically because she was her friend, and was always somewhat absent around her, as if he didn't really see her. Byakuya and Nanao found points of sympathy on many things and Soi Fong accepted her presence the way she accepted everyone else's presence: with a snort and a dismissive nod, too grumpy to really enjoy life at all.

Nanao's quirks and at times unfriendliness didn't alienate Rangiku at all; she had grown up with Gin, after all, and that had more than acclimated her to weirdness in the people she associated with.

And Rangiku started to learn things about her slightly difficult friend.

Nanao and Lisa, Rangiku discovered, had been very close, to the point that Lisa had been something of a surrogate sister or mother figure—Rangiku was never sure which one and the implications never failed to make her shudder a little bit—to the girl. It had crushed Nanao when Lisa disappeared without a word.

Okay, that explained a lot. But honestly, if that's it, shouldn't she have gotten over it by now?

That was _not_, Rangiku was to discover, everything, and it wasn't even really the root of the problem at all. Nanao was walking with two shadows following behind, and the shadow of the former fukutaicho of the Eighth division completely drowned out her own.

Nanao…Nanao reminded people of Lisa. Strongly. Rangiku found a picture of Lisa one day and resisted the strong urge to clap her hand over her mouth because, but for a few minor differences, that was almost certainly what Nanao would end up looking like in a few years.

And it wasn't just Nanao's appearance that made people think of Lisa. Her personality, very essence was different yet the same. No one ever looked at Nanao without seeing Lisa first, without thinking of her as the successor to all of Lisa's niches and places and positions and quirks. They didn't see Nanao; they saw Lisa.

It had an odd affect on Kyouraku-taicho. He wasn't the only one who was good at reading people; Rangiku made an art form out of it and could see that he felt more than a little guilt over what had happened to Lisa so long ago. She had disappeared, possibly been killed, and he hadn't been around to help her. And Nanao was so very much like Lisa…

(Of course, as time went on and Nanao got older, Rangiku strongly suspected he was in love with her too, but that was beside the point.)

Kyouraku-taicho's solution to the problem was to become over-protective and faintly smothering of his subordinate. He never let her out of his sight, rarely allowed her to go on missions, wouldn't train with her (Nanao instead had to find her training with Ukitake-taicho and Unohana-taicho, who threw healing kido into the bargain), and God help anyone who so much as looked at her wrong in his presence.

Rangiku recognized his mentality: _I couldn't keep her safe, I couldn't save her, but I can keep this one from harm, I have to keep this one safe. _He tried to shelter her, tried to keep her safe, but it wasn't what Nanao wanted and it made her feel useless and inadequate. Kyouraku-taicho couldn't see that but could feel the resentment that at times came from her and could only shake his head sadly and try to loosen the stranglehold a little bit.

And Nanao?

Nanao just withered. Her sense of individuality was screaming and dying for lack of air and sun and water, and she was just trying to do everything she could to get out of Lisa's shadow.

Rangiku saw. Rangiku saw everything.

And, one day, she just tossed her arm around Nanao's thin shoulders and declared, "You don't have to live up to her, you know."

In typical Nanao fashion, mulish and vaguely abrasive, she replied, "I know that," but still smiled. Nanao's voice was snappish and sharp, but still the small smile played around her lips. Her pale, strained face softened and her bluish eyes didn't seem quite so glacial.

Finally, she knew what it was like for someone not to see Lisa and only see her.

And in the five years Rangiku had known Nanao, it was the first time she could ever recall seeing her smile.


End file.
